Dhammala

dhammala @ 2009-01-05T13:27:00

2009-01-05T19:28:43Z

is still setting up the new office, and thinking about what to have for lunch.

dhammala @ 2009-01-04T18:00:00

2009-01-05T00:01:05Z

is excited for sweet potato fries and some do nothing time..

dhammala @ 2009-01-04T10:37:00

2009-01-04T16:38:27Z

is trying to figure out how to stay organized in this crazy, hectic world...

dhammala @ 2009-01-01T18:30:00

2009-01-02T00:30:34Z

is happy this has been a nice, mellow, day off.

dhammala @ 2008-12-30T10:13:00

2008-12-30T16:13:52Z

is moving his office today.. 50% yay, 50% sniff

Just for fun

2008-09-08T15:05:10Z

My laptop takes random photos of me (for security reasons, in case it gets stolen). Every now and then I will download the photos from the past week and check them out. This time I thought I would make it into an animation for you. :)

Please don't say you're sorry

2008-09-08T14:33:54Z

Eric and my friends have been annoyed with my Madonna fascination lately.. specifically I can't seem to stop humming and whistling the tune to Madonna's "Sorry". This song is just stuck in my head, has been for two weeks now.. Normally when this happens, I am quick to dive into the reflection and acknowledge the message and move forward. However, this one is a bit deeper, so I thought I might share it with you.

"...dive into the reflection and acknowledge the message..."?!

Yes, that is what I said. In this non-dual world that I live in, all things I perceive are merely a reflection of my being. The closer they are to 'home' the greater the impact on my being. For my friends and loved ones to recognize the obsession, and that I hear the song all day long, shows me that this is pretty close to home.

When I listen to music, I listen as if God was singing to me.. every note, every word is a breath of magic intended to tickle the depths of my being. Anyway, in this context, the message that songs you are interested in becomes very powerful. In this case, the song rattles me at the core:

I've heard it all before
I've heard it all before
I've heard it all before
I've heard it all before
[repeat]

I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know
Please don't say you're sorry
I've heard it all before
And I can take care of myself
I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know
Please don't say 'forgive me'
I've seen it all before
And I can't take it anymore

You're not half the man you think you are
Save your words because you've gone too far
I've listened to your lies and all your stories (Listen to your stories)
You're not half the man you'd like to be

I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know
Please don't say you're sorry
I've heard it all before
And I can take care of myself
I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know
Please don't say 'forgive me'
I've seen it all before
And I can't take it anymore

Don't explain yourself 'cause talk is cheap
There's more important things than hearing you speak
You stayed because I made it so convenient(so convenient)
Don't explain yourself, you'll never see

This occurs to me as a reminder and a red-flag, that my egoic self -- my feeble mind -- has taken over the steering wheel once again and has been preventing my divine nature from fully being expressed. In the non-dual sense, there is nothing wrong with this state or condition. However, for me, it is not what I am committed to. I made the choice a long time ago to give my life to God and now it seems that I have wavered in that choice.

Pretty harsh? Well, if you have not made the same commitments, I could see how this might sound harsh. If you accept that I see this song as a conversation between God and my egoic mind, then you can understand that cutting the mind at the root with harsh words is sometimes necessary!

Is there an action to take? Yes! I will smile, celebrate the message I have received and relax into my heart once again, knowing that there is never anything to fear.

Can it get any bigger?

2008-08-20T22:54:28Z

How often do you think about the size of your heart? Not your physical heart, silly, but your spiritual heart, your emotional heart, your etheric heart?

Well, I tend to spend more time there than *thinking* about it, and I am just so amazed at the capacity it has for experiencing and sharing love. And just when you think it couldn't get any bigger, someone magical walks into your life and shows you just how small your heart is and BLAMMO, here you are, deeply in love with yet another aspect of you... a part of you that you were so afraid to acknowledge before, so afraid you could not even see it, and now that you have seen it, you can't stop integrating it into your daily experience...

DO IT

2008-02-02T05:37:14Z

Paste this into a comment and fill it out... Then post the empty one on your blog.

1) Are you currently in a serious relationship?

2) What was your dream growing up?

3) What talent do you wish you had?

4) If I bought you a drink what would it be?

5) Favorite vegetable?

6) What was the last book you read?

7) What zodiac sign are you?

8) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.

9) Worst Habit?

10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?

11) What is your favorite sport?

12) Do you have a Negative or Optimistic attitude?

13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?

14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?

15) Tell me one weird fact about you.

16) Do you have any pets?

17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?

18) What was your first impression of me?

19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?

20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?

21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?

22) What color eyes do you have?

23) Ever been arrested?

24) Bottle or can soda?

25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?

27) What's your favorite place to hang at?

28) Do you believe in ghosts?

29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?

30) Do you swear a lot?

31) Biggest pet peeve?

32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?

33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?

34) If you could live anywhere in the world where would you chose?

35) Do you believe in God?

36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?

OKCupid thinks I'm a stud

2008-01-27T19:57:22Z

The Gentleman

Deliberate Gentle Love Master (DGLM)

Steady & mature. You are The Gentleman.

For anyone looking for an even-keeled, considerate lover, you're their man. You're sophisticated. You know what you want both in a relationship and outside of it. You have a substantial romantic side, and you're experienced enough sexually to handle yourself in that arena, too. Your future relationships will be long-lasting; you're classic "marrying material," a prize in the eyes of many.

It's possible that behind it all, you're a bit of a male slut. Your best friends know that in relationships you're fundamentally sex-driven. You're a safe, reliable guy, who does get laid. In a lot of ways, you're like a well-worn, comfortable pair of socks. Did you ever jack off into one of those? All the time.

Your ideal mate is NOT a nut-job. He is giving and loving, like you, but also experienced.

Your exact male opposite:

The Last Man on Earth

Random Brutal Sex Dreamer

Always avoid: The False Messiah (DBLM)

Consider: The Gentleman (DGLM), someone just like you.

Link: The Online Dating Persona Test @ OkCupid - free online dating.
My profile name: : dhammala

dhammala @ 2008-01-22T22:38:00

2008-01-23T06:14:16Z

Taken from bshigley

1) Answer the questions below.
2) Take each answer and type it into Photobucket/Google Images
3) Take any picture from the first page of results and post.

1. The age you will be on your next birthday? 33

2. A place you'd like to travel? europe

3. Your favorite place? the beach

4. Your favorite object? this is a weird question... um.. my MBP!

5. Your favorite food? chocolate

6. Your favorite animal? monkey

7. Your favorite color? green

8. The town in which you were born? point pleasant, nj

9. The town in which you live? denver

10. The name of a past pet? reepong (it means bunny in tibetan)

11. The first name of a past love? neils (my very first boyfriend)

12. Your best friend's nickname? eric

13. Your nickname/screen name? dhammala

14. Your first name? scott

15. Your middle name? daniel

16. Favorite texture? um, weird...fluffy

18. A bad habit of yours? who has bad habits?

19. Your first job? coin boy at the arcade

Take that! crazy monkey

2007-12-10T17:10:13Z

Your Superpower Should Be Mind Reading

You are brilliant, insightful, and intuitive.
You understand people better than they would like to be understood.
Highly sensitive, you are good at putting together seemingly irrelevant details.
You figure out what's going on before anyone knows that anything is going on!

Why you would be a good superhero: You don't care what people think, and you'd do whatever needed to be done

Your biggest problem as a superhero: Feeling even more isolated than you do now

What Should Your Superpower Be?

GIFTS

2007-10-24T22:09:59Z

I'm going to send a gift (my choice, but tailored to the recipient) to the first five people who comment here and post this message in their own blogs.

Whatever the gift is, I promise I will get it to you by the end of this calendar year. It'll be a physical object, so I'll need your snail mail address if I don't have it.

The only thing you need to do to receive your gift is participate. Be one of the first five to reply to this, and post a similar offer on your blog.

Personal DNA test

2007-07-21T23:49:38Z

Benevolent Leader

monica called me fat

2007-07-20T16:22:17Z

Scott
AIM
10:18
This diet comes from the Sacred Heart Memorial Hospital that is used for overweight heart patients in order to lose weight rapidly, usually prior to surgery.

Monica
AIM
10:18
maybe for someone who is 300 pounds
10:19
yeah
10:19
we couldnt do that
10:19
that is like 5 pounds to us
10:19
well, me anyways
10:19
LOL

Scott
AIM
10:20
omg you just called me fat

Monica
AIM
10:20
omg
10:20
iit was a joke

Scott
AIM
10:20
omg

Let go

2007-07-18T15:42:07Z

There is a candle in your heart,
ready to be kindled.
There is a void in your soul,
ready to be filled.
You feel it, don't you?
You feel the separation
from the Beloved.
Invite Him to fill you up,
embrace the fire.
Remind those who tell you otherwise that
Love
comes to you of its own accord,
and the yearning for it
cannot be learned in any school.

-Rumi

Lazy Sunday afternoon

2007-07-16T16:23:58Z

Things to do with your new boyfriend
on a Sunday afternoon:

Give him a home colonic (I showed him how to use the kit)
Feed him raw food pizza
Watch some of his favorite Anime
Go watch the Fire Tribe at Confluence Park
Snuggle

awesome graffiti spotted on the way to work today

dhammala @ 2007-07-07T11:15:00

2007-07-07T17:15:39Z

There is so much joy in my heart it just wants to explode. If you look, I know you will see it in your heart too.

My morning in photos..

2007-06-04T17:17:29Z

I just got a new phone and was tinkering with it and thought I would share with you my morning in photos. I was snapping these shots like every three minutes or so, as my commute to the office is only like 20 minutes. Enjoy!

Getting on the bus

Riding on the bus

Crossing the river

View of downtown, just got off the bus

Starbucks #1

View of downtown, walking up the mall

Starbucks #2

Random cow

Starbucks #3

Some people take the train to work

Breakfast store

My office building

"I'm ready!"

Cool elevators (Taryn on the right)

Taryn entering the office

My Desk with breakfast on it, Doug in the background

Being silly at lunch (Taryn on the right)

hi

2007-04-12T05:05:07Z

I guess I have a every couple of month LJ.

I also have this addiction to Law and Order SVU. It is such a dumb show, but I can't stop watching it on my Tivo. I think we have like 60+ episodes sitting there. Perps and Vics all doing heinous things.. so very entertaining.

Well, the usual stuff.. work is going good.. has been slowing down a bit to where I can have a more normal schedule. When I get home, however, I am not ready to do much.. kinda in a slump that way, but it does take time to regenerate. I have been starting to venture out into the world and take one some other more inspiring projects -- focusing on my Reiki and teaching classes, etc.

Hope you are all doing well!

the drama continues...

2007-01-22T00:43:51Z

Well, the car saga continues. The next door neighbor appears to be trying to get me to pay for prior damage. The dent she says that I did has rust on it! Whatever, police reports have been filed, insurance will be notified. A cop was here today because (obviously) my neighbor and I could not agree on what the damage was. He was leaning in my favor, but of course it is not up to him to say.

What sucks is that this whole thing has put me into a really weird space. The mind goes crazy with thoughts of blame and anger, then flips to fear and doubt. A really low vibe place.

On the flipside, I have taken over the Denver Raw Food Meetup.com group. I am pretty excited and I have gotten some great feedback! I am doing a seven day green smoothie cleanse and some of the other members are joining along. You can follow along too if you check out the forum posts.

Oh woe is me

2007-01-10T17:53:48Z

I don't want my journal to become a dumping ground of frustration, but I have to babble on about this.. I'm just so mad today and can't let it go!

So, last night after work I had a GREAT 90 minute deep-tissue massage. It was so painful and awesome at the same time! The pain brought on some crazy spiritual type experiences as I was able to gain insight into the emotions that were stored in the knots he was working out. Crazy!

I went home and we watched Little Miss Sunshine. What a fun movie! If you have not seen it, go out and rent it. It will make you giggle and that little girl is a rock star.

Anyway I woke up this morning, at 6:45, and started to get ready to walk to the gym. If I leave by 7:15 I can get there by 7:45ish and have enough time to change and meet my new personal trainer at 8:00am.

Everything was going as planned, except Lucy started to follow me around all excited, begging for me to taker her with me. Well, since it is Wendesday, her normal day-care day, I felt I had to take her in. Eric would wake up in an hour or so and get ready and leave and he would take her too. But he was still sleeping and didn't have to deal with her cute, sad, 'take me with you' look.

Lucy loves day-care. Almost more than anything else.

So, I fed her and stood and waited for 5 mins for her to eat. Then I put her harness on. Now, it is 7:25. Too late to walk, now I have to drive to work. No biggie.

We have this dumb gate on our driveway. So I put Lucy in the car, then go and open the gate. Then I get in the car and start to back out. CRUNCH. Shit. Our stupid ghetto neighbors parked right in front of our driveway on the other side of the street. That is a handicapped parking area for one of our other neighbors and he always parks where I can still get in/out of the driveway.

The neighbor's car alarm goes off. Shit. I pull forward, get out and look at the damage. Nothing on their truck really, but my 2007 model 2k miles Civic now has a big crunch crack on the rear bumper. Ugh. Well, so I go up to the neighbors door and knock. "Wait a minute, I'll be right there" 5 minutes later, her she comes all sleepy and I'm all huffy and puffy. I basically said look at it later let me know if we need to do anything.

Back in the car. Lucy is all freaked out because she was in the car alone. Now I realize that I can't get out of the driveway because there is not enough room for me to fit with the fence and their car and the snow. I have no choice now but to ram my car up into the snow so that I can get enough angle to back out.

CRUNCH. Fuck. There goes the front bumper. Now it is all cracked.

GDMF.

I take Lucy to day care. I can only imagine that these neighbors (my housemate calls them the 'Ghettinos'. They are the type to scream, yell, have yappy dogs and trash all over the place all the time. They don't seem to get that trash pickup is only on Monday mornings.) are going to be handing me a $1000 bill for non-existant damage.

BTW, they are not handicapped. They should not be parked there.

I called Eric. Woke him up to tell him my drama. He of course was pissed and was not helpful. Can't blame him.

I work out at the gym. So far things are OK. Great workout. I leave. I go to park in the normal $5 lot, today it is $15. Must be an event going on. I drive over to the backup $7 lot. I park, get out, go to the machine and after waiting for 10 other people to buy their tickets, the machine refuses to accept either of my TWO credit cards. Somehow I am banned from using the lot I guess. WTF.

Back into the car and I drive over to the $15 lot. Ugh. Now of course after all this, I'm 30 minutes late to work. I figure, well, I will just go to Walgreens and drop off some film, since I am parked right next to it. Of course, the film counter is closed for the day and they are not accepting drop-offs.

Can't wait to see how the rest of the day goes. Let's see how much chocolate I can eat today..

Cat Stevens

2006-12-13T04:54:16Z

Don't be shy just let your feelings roll on by
Don't wear fear or nobody will know you're there
Just lift your head, and let your feelings out instead
And don't be shy, just let your feeling roll on by
On by

You know love is better than a song
Love is where all of us belong
So don't be shy just let your feelings roll on by
Don't wear fear or nobody will know you're there
You're there

Don't be shy just let your feelings roll on by
Don't wear fear or nobody will know you're there
Just lift your head, and let your feelings out instead
And don't be shy, just let your feeling roll on by
On by, on by, etc.

Lucy at day care

2006-10-14T04:14:17Z

So, I have been working like a mofo and Eric has a few days a week that he is working at people's places... we deceided to put Lucy into doggie day care on those days. Lucy LOVES other dogs so we figured it would be fun for her too. The place is just two blocks from our house and it has web-cams so we can watch! I didn't get any work done because all day long I was watching the cams.. here are some snapshots!

Most of the time you could not even see her because she was running around so much.. one frame I would be all 'there she is!' and the next frame she was gone.. LOL

weekend update

2006-09-18T14:53:23Z

Had a super fun weekend!

Friday night, Eric and I went out to eat to celebrate that my company got funded! All of the papers were signed on Friday and the money was deposited! Yay!

Saturday, we slept in a bit and then went up to Lousiville to hang out with Pine Susan.. had an amazing breakfast at this place you would not think would have good food. Then I went to my accupuncture session and boy it was intense -- we have been working on just rebalanceing my energy since I had not been there for a few months. When I left there I was really high! Waaay Fun. We then went over to see the Dow's -- our friends who live in a cohousing community called Nyland; we used to live with them years ago in our own intentional community called Jason Street Intentional Community. Anyway, it was fun to hang with them for a few hours, seeing the baby and running around with the kids.

When we got home, however, we found the house had been destroyed by Lucy. She seems to go nuts when we are not there. We are not quite sure what to do about it... we had put everything away that we thought she could get into, but she found more stuff to drag around, chew up, etc. Of course she has her own toys and things. We leave the radio on, the other dog is there to keep her company, but she just goes nuts. More on that later.

Sunday was a way fun day too.. woke up and went to Cap Hill to do our laundry.. brought Lucy with us. While it was all drying, we took her over to the dog park to run around for a bit. Then that afternoon we went to the Pepsi Center to see the HHDL -- His Holiness the Dalai Lama. The event was great, his energy fills up even that space and he was just so simple, humble and human. I could'nt believe how many people were there..

This week we are interviewing for a graphic artist.. have three people to meet today. Had two on Friday but I don't think they will be our top choices.. just not a perfect fit. I will see if I can get some photos up today..